Sports Day is over. I can finally have my life back.

I have mixed feelings.

This year, in terms of sports medals, I have had the least achievements of all my high school life. But, thats okay. :)

I have an amazing group of yellow house members working for me for house decorations. Creative, innovative, technical people who would amke AMAAZZING engineers. Dedicated members who stay back even more than me to stick starch onto newspapers, cut aluminium cans in half and cut out cardboard pieces out etc etc.

The most spirited marchers that I have ever seen. The ones who are willing to be shouted at 5 hours a day under the hot sun doing something that they could have easily backed out of. I admire their dedication and spirit. You guys deserve it, all those hours of practice, sweat, determination. You made me proud.

I love you and I just want to say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I failed in my resposibility as a captain. I'm sorry, I didn't plan well. I'm sorry I left it all to you. I'm just sorry.

Thank you for not pointing this out to my face. But, I want you to know, I know it.

This victory, this 3rd place, belongs to you. Not to me.

Thank You Lord, may the glory be to you.

To my friends,

I'm sorry.

This year, I'm a totally changed person.

I'm too stressed out, I don't make time for you, I snap, I'm self-righteous, I complain a lot, I criticize, I cry a lot and I'm sad most of the time. I'm sorry, as I'm writing this post, I'm crying. I don't know what happened to my old self. I don't know myself anymore because all this while I've been piling so much stuff on top of myself and telling myself I'm okay. But, I'm not.

I'm sorry, Jae Haan, mummy, daddy, huili, chenlynn, carmen, shulin, dylan, kayzhi, yeshan, zhong wei, ejia, elizabeth, kharenee, ziling, peishe, rachel ho/gan, ryan and the yellow house members.

I'm a shell of my old self and I'm sorry I couldn't give you the best.

Most of all, I'm sorry, Lord. Its so hard to bring myself to face You again. Please give me the courage.

*Unless you're any of the above people I mentioned, please don't ask me about this post.

Labels: School