No matter how you twist it, my mood currently cannot be described as happy.

Recent events have caused me to use the no one understands me card. Or rather, my mother doesn't understand me card. Mummy and I are currently having a cold war which I am not sure what stimulated.

I did not lie.

One thing about my mummy is that she doesn't advocate her feelings, she just goes around looking pissed off and constipated and not letting anyone know what is in her head. Therefore, my whole family treads lightly around her when she gets like this. This mood is currently directed right at me.

I went to Pyramid with Elizabeth yesterday. Jae Haan called at 5 to say he was going to be there. I was happy because I'd get to see him for about 20 minutes? He reached at around 540. So Elizabeth and I met up with him and we went to Wendy's. Elizabeth went home at around 6. I was going to spend about 15 mins with him and then ring my parents who were in pyramid.

We were leaning over the railing talking and holding hands when my parents came up the escalator facing us. I panicked and ran into the nearest shop which was Everlast. Of course they had seen us.

I had told my dad about Jae Haan the day before yesterday and he was cool. He told me my mummy and him already knew anyways.

So whats the big deal which warrants the cold war?

Sure, EVERYONE gets she's pissed. Why?

I didn't lie to her that Elizabeth was going to be there. My parents saw her in the flesh. I explained as much to my father and he got it.

What exactly did I do wrong? Am I supposed to maintain a cold, no contact space with him in public? Does she prefer I not introduce him to them and sneak around behind their backs?

Mummy hasn't spoken a word to me since I got back. She ignores me. I went to sleep after running this morning and she didn't bother to tell me she was going out, didn't bother to ask me if I wanted to go out which is what she normally does. Heck, she didn't even leave a note. I have nothing to eat.

At least my daddy is still acting normal. I am sick of this, this always happens. I don't feel comfortable talking to her, its always like waiting on a landmine. I used to crave the other-daughter open relationship that my friends have. The way that they can tell their mother whats going on in their life. I live behind closed doors, my mother puts up barriers to keep us away? I've given up on that close relationship, I've long resigned and stop trying.

Maybe, I AM IN THE WRONG. But someone, please explain to me WHY.

Labels: babyjae, seriousness, shopping escapades